Master 12 came in to me looking like a living, breathing, walking, talking murder victim.....I know he looked like this because he very helpfully turned on the overhead bedroom light on his way in. This just about burned a hole straight through my retinas....however when I had regained my sight it was to behold a sight straight out of a horror movie.
"GET A TISSUE!" I'm pretty sure I screamed it, but Hubby still managed to remain blissfully ignorant and fast asleep....or was at least doing a very good impression of it.
Master 12 was attempting to catch the flow in his cupped hands. You can imagine how well that was working for him. Leaping out of bed I managed to hustle him back to his room and the bloody disaster which was his bed....I mean this literally...not in the swearing sense....though both could well apply.
Box of tissues now in hand and in nose I take a breath and survey the damage.
Bed covered with blood....boy covered with blood....and woe is me....worst of all....horrid trail of blood from his room to the side of my bed, back around to the tissues on Hubby's side of the bed and back to his room....all on the cream carpet.
Serves me right for picking cream carpet in the hopes of creating light, airy atmosphere in the home...should have gone for the dirty brown and avoided all the headaches.
So, Master 12 sits down with half a box of tissues up his nose and another box by his side. Bed is stripped. I rush off to consult my absolute BFF Mr Google about bloodstains on carpet. Get to them right away, he advises (though after you have administered first aid to the bleeding victim).
So, cold bucket of water (I will just point out at this stage that all my buckets were missing and I had to go searching....only to find them in the garage commandeered by Hubby for unknown purposes)...clean cloth to dab, not rub the stains. Another clean cloth to absorb excess moisture. So I'm down on my hands and knees, crawling through the house, to follow Master 12's trail of destruction.
Hubby takes this opportunity to blearily query if Master 12 is okay..."He's fine...I'm more worried about the carpet" there's no reply...he's already back to sleep!!
So stains blotted and absorbed, boy showered, bed remade, washing machine on, time spent convincing Master 12 he's not dying...but for goodness sake don't pick your nose....and finally back to bed.
On the bright side if I ever decide to do Hubby in for his insurance money....or his snoring....with my previous experience, cleaning up the evidence will be a snap :)
|Master 12 checks out the current nasal conditions|
P.S. Master 12 has been talking INCESSANTLY ALL DAY about the current conditions in his nasal cavity. I have had a blow by blow description of every sniff, sneeze, itch, snuffle, snort and drip. I am more than half way to stark raving bonkers and if the men in white coats come to collect me before my next post....you'll know why!!