Friday 29 November 2013

The weird and the wonderful … no actually … just the weird ...

So the day you have all been waiting for has finally arrived … the day I reveal the truth about that secret project I alluded to here and here.

You've all been waiting with bated breath for me to ease your unsatisfied curiosity… haven't you … sure you have.

I started off with this odd assortment.

Whatever could she be doing with that odd assortment … you all wondered … didn't you ... sure you did.

Well there was method in the madness.

Hubby's work Christmas party was coming up … the theme … why oh why does there always have to be a theme … was "Carnival".

So Hubby decided he was going to go as a clown … and Hubby decided I was going to make his outfit … cause Hubby's thoughtful like that.

Then because he doesn't like anything to be easy or straightforward … he decided he wasn't going to be any old clown … he was going to be a laughing clown … and he had to look exactly like this.

So I started with this.

All would have been well with the world if he had been a normal, everyday clown … but no … he was a laughing clown … and none of the collars included in the "easy 2 hour" pattern resembled a laughing clown collar.

So then I had to become a pattern drafting type person … with absolutely no experience as a pattern drafting type person.  In other words I had to wing it … BIG time.

I did a bit of a drawing … I pinned it on … I said a prayer … I crossed my fingers … I cut it out … I sewed it up … I hoped for a miracle.

I had to take care of a few other laughing clown type details.

And then all was ready for the great unveiling … drum roll please.

Will the "real" laughing clown please stand up.

Let me introduce you to Bizarro … the freakiest laughing clown you will ever see … ever … anywhere!

Scaring small children and taxi drivers … in a town near you soon.

Thursday 28 November 2013

Backyard cricket ...

This one bowls ...

This one bats …

This one gets out …

This one celebrates … with all the modesty one would expect from a sixteen year old boy.

Tuesday 26 November 2013

Treasure hunt ...

A couple of weeks ago the gorgeous (and hilarious) Sandra over at Peaches McGinty mentioned her brooches.  Sandra can usually be seen wearing one … or two … perhaps more brooches and "operates on a brooch measure of happy".

Well this got me thinking … which is a very dangerous turn of events indeed.

It got me thinking about brooches …  and my appalling lack thereof.

But then … somewhere in the far recesses of my mind … right at the back … in the dark … behind the algebra and old boyfriends … a little memory stirred.

"By jingo … I think I have a brooch after all".

It was last seen a long, long time ago … and last worn even longer ago still … but I had a brooch … and it was made of something very, very delicious and luscious and loved by everyone.

So off I went on the hunt … searching for long forgotten treasures.

I started in the obvious place … my jewellery drawer.

I delved deep … rediscovering forgotten things … like my beautiful Mum's pearls, watch and locket.

And her engagement ring … which I had to wear for a little while … cause it made me sad … and happy.

I stumbled on this little beauty … which I'm pretty sure a lady my Mum worked with brought me back from Italy when I was in primary school.

And then I found it … hidden at the bottom … like all good treasure should be.

The box of mystery.

This is it … I can feel it in my waters ... now I'll find that long lost brooch.

AND I DID … what's more I found a few more.

See I told you it was made of something delicious and luscious and loved by everyone.

Hey Sandra … what's the brooch measure of happiness for a brooch made of chocolate?

Anyone else found some hidden treasure lately?

Sunday 24 November 2013


"A portrait of our children, once a week, every week in 2013"

Master 16:  The Ashes are on … so the backyard cricket … though in this case it's the front yard … begins.

Master 13:  Likes to take the necessary safety precautions.

You called out "game on" … and used the street as the wicket
It was Week Forty Seven  … and time for some cricket.

Joining in with Jodi at Che and Fidel.

Saturday 23 November 2013

A little bit of this … a little bit of that ...

I got a haircut last week … nobody noticed.

Which hair?

I added cleaning the shower to my ever-growing list of "Dangerous Domestic Duties" … must be avoided at all costs … very, very dangerous.

I seem to be surrounded by smug organised people … who delight in telling me that they have nearly finished their Christmas shopping.  I have not started.

On the subject of Christmas … my boys gave me their "Christmas Lists".

Master 16's

Master 13's

It will be a Christmas miracle if they receive even half of these requests … especially YOU Master 16.

You may recall me mentioning a new "top secret project" I was meant to be working on.

I bought the necessary supplies … and then conveniently forgot all about it.  Hubby reminded me this week that the deadline for the completed project is next Friday … I don't work well under pressure.

Can anyone guess what it might be?

I was reliably informed this morning by "The Today Show" … so therefore it must be true … that there is a new trend in selfies.  Move over duck face … there's a new pose in town … welcome to "The Squinch".  No wide open eyes … they're not flattering … you need to lower your upper lids and raise your lower lids.  Like a squint … but not a squint … it's a squinch … and it makes you look sexy … apparently.

Hope everyone is having a fabulous weekend.

Wednesday 20 November 2013

Hidden talents ...

Okay … before I get started … let me just get one thing out of the way.

I apologise wholeheartedly … in advance … for the post I am about to write.  I'm already ashamed.

It's subject matter will leave those of us with a genteel disposition… which isn't me clearly … horrified and appalled.  If you are eating … you may wish to postpone either the reading … or the eating.

This post is about shit … literally.

While I say it's about shit … it's really about a strange phenomenon I experienced … which was somewhat inspired by shit.

Phenomenon … which is much different to phenomenal … certainly in this case.

Let me set the scene.

I was in bed this morning … fast asleep … dreaming.

My dream was meandering on … as dreams are wont to do … and I don't remember all that much of it.

But there is one part which I will never forget.

In the dream … Buster was racing along … when suddenly he lay down and shat himself … on the carpet.

At this precise and exact moment I awoke suddenly … and realised I could hear Buster scratching at the door to be let out of Master 16's bedroom … where he sleeps … the dog … as well as Master 16.

As an earthquake of over 10 on the Richter scale probably wouldn't wake Master 16, I decided I would get up and let the dog out.

On opening the door … low and behold … there was dog shit … on the carpet.

See … now we get to the bit about the phenomenon … how did I know??

Have I developed psychic abilities?  Could my sub-conscious ears hear something that my conscious ears never could? Am I on some sort of ESP wavelength with the dog?

So many questions … so few answers.

Anyhoo … I just had to share … in case this is the beginning of my new career as a world renowned psychic.  If ever I'm asked how I first discovered my amazing talent … I'll be able to refer them to this blog post.

Anyone got any tea leaves they'd like me to read?

Tuesday 19 November 2013

All stitched up ...

Yikes … is it my imagination or are the weeks going by faster and faster … did a week get changed to three days instead of seven without anyone telling me?

Well believe it or not it's Tuesday again … only just … so I'd better type really fast …and that means it's time for  Shiny T Tuesday.

The prompt this week is "All Stitched up".

I've got lots of embroidered tops I could model … I've even got a gorgeous skirt which fits the bill just perfectly … but shock … horror … I've decided to do something a little bit different.

Instead of posting about MY fashion … I thought I'd post about a little household fashion instead.

Welcome to my back hallway.

It's the perfect place for displaying my "stitcheries".

The top one is a sampler I stitched years and years ago … my first "proper" cross stitch.
The little house was my Mum's … and when her unit was cleared out I nicked it.
The last little one I bought.

I bought the top one in the next shot … because I liked the rhyme;

Dear Old House you're always here, to fill my heart with simple cheer.
You gather loved ones to your door and offer comfort and so much more.
Joy and laughter ring through your halls
warmth and light glow from your walls.
Your windows listen for children at play
and beckon them in at the end of the day.
Dear Old House forever you'll be
the Home that has loved our family.

The bottom one is a family tree that I stitched about ten years ago.  I've blurred out our names and dates of birth etc … because I've heard all about Internet identity theft … and you can't be too careful … right?

Last … but not least … we have two more bought ones;



Angels sent from up above …
Please protect the ones we love.

Finally there's a cute little heart one I stitched myself.

I'm loving them sick … and they're definitely "All Stitched Up"

Phew … 11:37pm … I made it.

Monday 18 November 2013

We are gathered here today … to read this blog post ...

Today marks a very special event.

Today my marriage becomes an adult.

Eighteen years old … legally able to consume alcohol ... and vote … and get married.

I vote that Hubby spoils me silly … whilst I consume alcohol… and reminisce about getting married.  It's the least he can do … after all I've been putting up with him for a really long time now.

But I don't like my chances … if the lack of response to my earlier text message is anything to go by.

So in the absence of any spoiling … and any alcohol … because it's pouring rain outside which means I have to do a school pick up run … I bring you some reminiscing.

Still single … time left to make a bolt for it

Bridesmaids holding tight … and keeping me cornered … to avoid anyone making a bolt for it

Signing my life away … with an "Oh s*@t" expression on my face … "Just keep moving your hand … like this" says the newly christened Hubby

Deed done … for better or for worse

Just stand around casually … like we do this all the time

What the?  I need a drink!

OK … I'll dance with you … as long as you promise to spoil me after I've been putting up with you for eighteen years.
Happy Anniversary Hubby … aren't you SOOOO GLAD you met me!!