Thursday 8 August 2013

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ...

I woke up this morning and I thought to myself ... "What should I do today?" ... let me rephrase that ... "What WILL I do today?"

Then in a blinding flash of inspiration ... or perhaps it was indigestion ... I thought ... "Of course! I will become a Beauty Blogger."

Now for those of you that are doubting my Beauty Blogger credentials ... let me share with you a little known fact.

Once  upon a time ... many, many years ago ... I was in fact ... drum roll please ... a Revlon Lady!!

I went on a course for a few days ... did an exam ... which I will modestly reveal that I blitzed ... top of the class ... and I was awarded a certificate and a badge.


Woo hoo ... congrats to me!!

Though I'm pretty sure even bottom of the class got a certificate and a badge.

Here I am in an entirely politically incorrect position with my boss.


This has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on this story ... aside from the fact that he sent me on the course ... and I wanted an opportunity to show off my BIG hair.

So ... back to the point.  This proves that I have the qualifications to give beauty advice.  As long as your questions relate to Revlon products circa 1990.

So, here is my beauty regime ... followed somewhat religiously ... most days.

I shower and wash my hair with whatever shampoo and conditioner were on special at the supermarket the last time I needed them.  The current offering is TRESemme.


It sounds mighty posh ... what with that little thingamajig  over the e ... but just how posh can you be for $4.99 per 900ml?

I don't use soap ... not unless I want scaly lizard skin.  Instead I use something like this ...

... which promises to moisturise while it washes ... and I'm always up for a shortcut.

If acceptable moisture levels have not been attained ... I follow with whatever body lotion I happen to have in the cupboard.  My skin is currently enjoying the soft and sensual replenishment of this one ...

That takes care of the body ... now for the face.  I moisturise daily with this ...

and this ...

I give special attention to those attractive laughter and character lines.  I'm specially attentive in rubbing stuff on them ... in the hope that they'll disappear.  But surprise, surprise ... despite promising to reduce their appearance within seven days ... my face remains stubbornly full of character!

Moisturiser is followed with sunscreen.   Every single day ... rain, hail or shine ... without fail.

Sunscreen is applied to all exposed skin ... with the exception of my legs ... I'm letting them age disgracefully.  Target is my brand of choice ... not too gluggy ... not too greasy ... just right.

The final facial step is a dusting of powder.  I pick this one up at the supermarket for around $12.

It does a stellar job of adding a little bit of colour to my otherwise pale, pasty complexion ... a symptom of all that sunscreen application.  Just remember to brush and blend under the jawline too ... no one wants a tide mark around their face.

Finally the hair ... (are you still here?) ... I was cursed blessed with a huge cowlick, right on the front of my hair.  It is so horrific it frightens dogs and young children.  For the last 30 odd years I have been attempting to control and train this beast into submission.  My current line of defence is this ...

... the stronger the better.  A generous dollop of that on the fringe and then a HOT blow dryer.  I send a fervent prayer to the Good Hair Day Gods and then I blow that all day sucker ... thus named because it sucks really bad all day long ... straight down.  I blast it with the hottest air I can withstand until my scalp is just short of blistering.  Then I give it a burst of cool air ... to kind of set it ... and to give some temporary relief to my third degree burns.

Here I am back in the days when I embraced the cow lick!


And that's it ... I'm good to go!!

Impressive ... yes?????

You can thank me later.

Please note ... I blurred the edges of this photo in the hopes of disguising all background mess

20 comments:

  1. Congratulations on your very high grades in beauty knowledge. Did you know that Skin So Soft is a very effective insect repellent? We always take it with us on camping trips. Also I have that SAME cowlick!!!!

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    1. I NEVER knew that ... that's fantastic ... now I can include it if I ever decide to become a home remedy blogger too ;0)
      xx

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  2. Great post, I to was a Revlon consultant for 10 years at a store in NZ similar to Myers. xxx Rae

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    1. Do you still use Revlon products?? I used one of their foundations for around 20 years ... until they discontinued it. Still haven't forgiven them for that.
      xx

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  3. Ohhhh I love your routine! You look maaahhhvelos! I especially love the gorgeous ring of bluebirds dancing around your head. (I am also wondering if there is a permanent ring I can place over folks' eyes when they come over to my house that hides all the mess here. Can you invent that please?)

    Well if it wasn't midnight here, I would be heading out right now to purchase some treSemme and some of that skin so soft.
    have a lovely day you beauty blogger you! xxoo

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    1. Haha ... thanks Rebecca. Master 16 just informed me that only 12 year old girls add graphics like that to photos ... apparently I should be very, very embarrassed.
      As for that mess hiding invention ... if I work it out I'll be patenting it quick smart ... and then retiring on the proceeds :0)
      xx

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  4. I have also heard about the insect-repelling properties of Avon's Skin So Soft. Never tried it though!
    So you have excellent beauty blogging credentials, a lifetime of dealing with a cowlick and a Revlon qualification, what more does a girl need?! Like your approach - keep it simple, do what you need and no more, and don't believe the hype!
    And look - it's working, you're gorgeous! xxxxx

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    1. Aww thanks ... you are way too kind. I like to think that if I can deal with a cowlick ... then I can deal with anything ;0)
      xx

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  5. I loved your politically incorrect position with your boss! your hair is magnificent - great beauty routine, it is similar to my own except mine is quite sparse! my one concession is not to use olive oil as a facial moisturiser during summer - cowlick in the middle of a fringe? me too - my mum used to tape it down when I was little haha, I ended up with all of 5 hairs and a complex! the birds are fab x

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    1. Lol ... taping it down ... that's genius .. well except for the balding side effect ;0)
      xx

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  6. Your "cowlick" example picture looks like Master 13 with longer hair.

    Love your beauty routine!

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    1. Ha ... thanks Carla ... I'll let Master 13 know straight away ... he'll be SO pleased ;0)
      xx

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  7. Oh the things we do to age gracefully! I really need to be more diligent with the suncream.

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    1. Some days I'm sure it would be much easier to age disgracefully ;0)
      xx

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  8. Fabulous routine, you've obviously been professionally trained! I also use that very posh shampoo when it's on special. And who wants a chracterless face.....not me :)

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    1. LOL ... oh yes my professionalism really shines through doesn't it :0)
      xx

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  9. As a fellow redhead, that sunscreen bottle could not get any larger. I like the packaging and spied the Target symbol, so I know where to go!

    I swear by Cetaphil for cleansing and moisturising. I add a few drops of various essential oils into the cleanser because I like my fragrances, but otherwise that's it for me.

    You make a great beauty blogger! x

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    1. Ha ... thanks ... I don't think I'll give up my day job ;0)
      xx

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  10. sorry i didn't get past the photo of you backing yourself onto your 'boss??' in some jam-maker's garage!!!! what the ****!!!?!! i am moving my coffee away from my new laptop as this time some squirted down my nose and my husband may have a fit if i keep doing things like that near this new precious piece of technology that i insisted we buy just so i could blog!!!!

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    1. Aaahh ... the early nineties where anything went and political correctness hadn't been invented ;0)
      xx

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