Sometimes Mum wins......

A few months ago I made a deal with Master 15.

I would get him this

which apparently he REALLY needed.

In return he would do this

for the next 12 months.

Well this was only used for a couple of weeks and now never sees the light of day

and this gets done every week

SCORE!!!

Snag Sandwiches on Sunday.....

One of the ultimate, yet simple joys in life is a really good sausage sandwich.

For me, it has to be fresh white bread, fried onion, bbq sauce and a really good sausage, well cooked, but not burnt.

Each weekend all over Australia, Bunnings Warehouse Hardware Stores hold sausage sizzles.  These make Bunnings quite the popular destination on weekends.  

You can pick up all the bits and pieces for your weekend projects and feed your face at the same time.

What makes these snag sandwiches extra special, is that the proceeds go to a local charity, sporting club etc.  Everyone knows if you need a good fundraiser have a sausage sizzle at Bunnings.

Our family is particularly fond of the weekend Bunnings BBQ and can often be found following our noses there on the weekend.  We don't actually have to need any hardware products...we go there due to our great appreciation of a good snag, and because we're cheap....we have short arms and long pockets.

I write this post to express my grave disappointment in this weekends banger offering.

The emphasis had definitely been put on profit over quality this weekend.

The bread was old, we're not talking day old, we're talking old old and the sausages were a dubious meat medley stuffed into the fingers of old rubber gloves. 

Ugh.....it was enough to turn your stomach!

I won't be back........till at least next weekend.

Shame on you St John's Ambulance...Shame!!!!

It's Footy Fever.....pass the panadol.....

Well it's September and that can only mean one thing......Football Finals!

Normal weekend family life is suspended.....no alternative invitations may be issued or accepted.

Then of course, if your team is doing well all kinds of plans have to be made....just in case they make it it to the Grand Final.

Budgets, bank balances and common sense go out the window.  Driving to Melbourne and back in a day becomes a reasonable scenario (never mind that it's 10 hours each way).

When the game is on, the tv must be stared at with hypnotic intensity, no conversation is allowed....but screaming at people that can't hear you is acceptable.....encouraged even.

The mood in the house for the remainder of the day/weekend/week is entirely dependant on the result.

Roll on October......

Go Swans........Cheer Cheer the Red and the White!!!!

DO NOT DISTURB!!!

Oh What A Night......

You may remember that we were waiting on the arrival of Master 12's next nosebleed.  Well it arrived with a vengeance and a dramatic torrent  at 3.30 this morning.

Master 12 came in to me looking like a living, breathing, walking, talking murder victim.....I know he looked like this  because he very helpfully turned on the overhead bedroom light on his way in.  This just about burned a hole straight through my retinas....however when I had regained my sight it was to behold a sight straight out of a horror movie.

"GET A TISSUE!" I'm pretty sure I screamed it, but Hubby still managed to remain blissfully ignorant and fast asleep....or was at least doing a very good impression of it.

Master 12 was attempting to catch the flow in his cupped hands.  You can imagine how well that was working for him.  Leaping out of bed I managed to hustle him back to his room and the bloody disaster which was his bed....I mean this literally...not in the swearing sense....though both could well apply.

Box of tissues now in hand and in nose I take a breath and survey the damage.

Bed covered with blood....boy covered with blood....and woe is me....worst of all....horrid trail of blood from his room to the side of my bed, back around to the tissues on Hubby's side of the bed and back to his room....all on the cream carpet.

Serves me right for picking cream carpet in the hopes of creating light, airy atmosphere in the home...should have gone for the dirty brown and avoided all the headaches.

So, Master 12 sits down with half a box of tissues up his  nose and another box by his side.  Bed is stripped.  I rush off to consult my absolute BFF Mr Google about bloodstains on carpet.  Get to them right away, he advises (though after you have administered first aid to the bleeding victim).

 So, cold bucket of water (I will just point out at this stage that all my buckets were missing and I had to go searching....only to find them in the garage commandeered by Hubby for unknown purposes)...clean cloth to dab, not rub the stains.  Another clean cloth to absorb excess moisture. So I'm down on my hands and knees, crawling through the house, to follow Master 12's trail of destruction.

Hubby takes this opportunity to blearily query if Master 12 is okay..."He's fine...I'm more worried about the carpet" there's no reply...he's already back to sleep!!

So stains blotted and absorbed, boy showered, bed remade, washing machine on, time spent convincing Master 12 he's not dying...but for goodness sake don't pick your nose....and finally back to bed.

On the bright side if I ever decide to do Hubby in for his insurance money....or his snoring....with my previous experience, cleaning up the evidence will be a snap :)

Master 12 checks out the current nasal conditions

P.S. Master 12 has been talking INCESSANTLY ALL DAY about the current conditions in his nasal cavity.  I have had a blow by blow description of every sniff, sneeze, itch, snuffle, snort and drip.  I am more than half way to stark raving bonkers and if the men in white coats come to collect me before my next post....you'll know why!!

Noses and Know It Alls.......

The day started out promising enough.  Despite their protests, both boys went back to school today.

Master 12 had obviously decided he was going to ease back into school gradually.  He was back home by 10.15 with a nosebleed and utterly delighted by this turn of events.

In an effort to ensure that I got the message of the precarious state of his nose health, he pointedly carried a box of tissues with him everywhere and reminded me constantly that another attack was certain to occur (hint hint - don't send me to school tomorrow)....it was imminent....any second now....did I know that people can die of nose bleeds if they lose all their blood....etc etc.

Master 12 takes preventative precautions due to imminent death by nose gusher

Master 15 came home with interesting news.  He's going out for dinner tomorrow night....not such big news in itself.....but this is the first dinner party with just his peers....no adults.  There will be about 20 of them - guys and girls- and they are all going out to the local italian place.

Of course (as mothers do) I tried to suss out if he was accompanying anyone in particular....but he was annoyingly closed mouth about it.

It went something like this;

Him:  I'm going out tomorrow night

Me:  Who with?

Him:  About 20 of us

Me: Girls as well?

Him:  Yes

Me: Anyone particular?

Him:  No

Me:  Who will you be sitting next to?

Him:  I dunno

Me:  How are you getting there?

Him:  You're dropping me off....by the way, I'm going to need a lot of money

Me:  Well you can use your money...that's why you have a part time job

Him:  That's not fair....I don't want to spend my money on that

Me:  It's your social life

Him:  You're my Mum....you're supposed to pay for it....anyway, what's for dinner?

Serenity now.......

Random thoughts I had today......

Our dog is so dumb he will eat snotty tissues, plastic washing baskets, any form of stuffing (preferably the synthetic variety), rocks, his own poop, anyones puke.....but he will not eat dog food!!

And speaking of dumb...am I the only person left on this planet with a dumb phone??

I want a smart phone!  Hubby has a smart phone....Master 15 has a smart phone....everyone I know has a smart phone....everyone I don't know has a smart phone.

"But you don't need one, you don't make any calls, it costs too much money" says Hubby

But I DO need it.....I need to "check-in" on Facebook everywhere I go......I need to take pictures of myself in mirrors everywhere I go.....I need to get a jewell encrusted case to put it in (preferably hot pink)....

Like this one :)

....and I need to be able to update my status every time Hubby annoys me by saying I don't need something!!!!!

Oh and by the way, I think it's high time that Master 15 went back to school.  If he is well enough to tape this to the inside of the toilet lid.......then he is well enough to be at school.....

Patients and the Perils of Laundry Day......

Both my boys are very good at appearing to be terribly ill at 7.30 in the morning and then making a miraculous recovery by about 9.15.

But occasionally they say they feel sick and they really do!!

Here's a few signs to enable you to tell the malingerer from the invalid....

• They get into bed with you.........and actually fall asleep

so did the dog, but that's not so unusual

• They get onto the trampoline........and actually fall asleep

• They ask you for Panadol.
• They don't want lunch......even if you offer chicken nuggets.
• They get to watch whatever they want on tv....but instead they fall asleep.
• They don't even ask if they can play the Playstation.
• They don't suddenly feel better at 9.00am after school starts and they don't start running around like a madman after 3.00pm when school has finished and there is absolutely no chance you will still make them get ready and go.
• At 7.00pm they take themselves off to bed without you asking.....where they fall asleep, without playing with the ipod first.

Poor Master 12 had a day like that today, there was some improvement by the end of the day, but I'm guessing it will be another day at home tomorrow.

Master 15 also spent the day at home, secure in the knowledge that he has a Doctor's Certificate giving him the whole week off.  I keep reminding him that he doesn't actually have to take the entire week off, and if he is feeling better the Doctor is not going to chastise him for his early return.  He declares that he sincerely doubts he will be ready to go back before the week is up...but his smug smile is a dead giveaway of his evil plan.

So nursemaid was my major role today.....though in between drinks, panadol doses and general coddling and cuddles, I managed to get my laundry done.  

The beautiful, warm sunny day couldn't go to waste and I had a huge pile of dirty clothes calling my name.  So first load was done and ready to be hung on my handy Hills Hoist.  

The line had been left up high from the weekend when Hubby and Master 12 had mown the lawn.  So my first job was to crank the handle and get it down to a level where I could actually reach the lines.  The whole mechanics of it are useless and falling apart, so you actually have to hold the whole handle on as you turn it...otherwise it falls off in about 3 different parts...this done and I start to hang the clothes.....I had about 2 lines filled when I got that sickening feeling that I was not alone.......

right where my hands had been just moments before....I squealed.....like the girl I am....and rushed off to find my knight in shining armour....Sir P. Beu.......

....now I know all the greenie do gooders would tell me to leave him be...he's part of nature and it's his home just as much as mine....but it's my clothes line...and I am NOT repeat NOT leaving him there to climb inside my undies.....and I am NOT repeat NOT picking him up and moving him somewhere less offensive!!!

So.....Sir Beu was employed to do what he does best...and at first my not so little friend tried to escape

....but his bid for freedom was short lived (as was he)...he fell to the ground...and with the handle of my broom.....he was dispatched to spider heaven.

On closer inspection, I don't think this was the first misadventure to befall him...he was suffering a severe deficit of legs on the right hand side!  Though he might have lost them in the handle when I put down the line...eeek.....I shudder to think!!

I think I need a bex and a good lie down!!!