A practical guide to purchasing the perfect birthday gift … not ...

It's Hubby's birthday!

So salutations for the day … you jolly good fellow … you don't look a day older … blah, blah, blah … now lets get to the bit about birthdays that people really like … well apart from the cake that is … the gifts!!

Hubby insisted that there were to be no birthday gifts this year … and let's face it he really doesn't deserve any … what with the jetting off to New York in a weeks time … WITHOUT ME!  But I hesitated on taking him at his word.  After all, I for one, cannot forget the year we both decided to forgo the Xmas gift giving  … and to save our money for something we really needed in the after Xmas sales.  How was I to know that "let's not buy each other Christmas presents this year … but save the money to buy something we really need from the after Xmas sales" was really code for "go out and buy me loads of things so I'll get lots and lots of pressies under the tree".  Turns out only one of us understood the real interpretation of these words … and it wasn't me.  The ensuing sulk lasted for at least three weeks … and still raises it's quivering bottom lip at times.

So I wasn't going to fall for that one again … oh no!   Well I almost did … I did leave it till the day before his birthday … at which time the guilts about there being nothing for him to open in the morning inconveniently struck.  But at such a late stage I couldn't be bothered going all the way to the shopping centre … which in turn only left me with the local supermarket as my gift buying destination.

But I remained calm in the crisis … and like the "ready for anything" survivalist I am … I made the best of the situation.

Hubby got some dark chocolate … because he's the only one that eats it … so the chances that he'll get to enjoy it all to himself are fairly high. But it does look good … maybe I'll just try one piece row.

He got something brand new to wear on his big day.  After all, it just makes you feel good about yourself to have something special to wear … doesn't it!?!

He got a packet of Red Rock Deli Sweet Chilli and Sour Cream chips … because they're his faves … and I'm a good wife that aims to please … besides they were on special.

He got a box of tea bags … cause he loves to drink tea … maybe not as much as he likes to drink fancy, exotic imported beer … but beggars can't be choosers … even on their birthday!

And everyone knows that the very best gifts are the ones that are a perfect combination of things you want and things you need … so I got him a packet of AA batteries … cause the wireless mouse is running precariously low on charge!!!

Happy Birthday Hubby!

Now before you all start feeling sorry for him ... let me take a moment to regale you with the tale of the very first gift he ever gave me.

We were young and carefree … and in the exciting, heady throes of a new romance when he went off on holiday … WITHOUT ME!  Mmmm … seems there is a bit of a pattern emerging here.   But let's get back to the gift … he jetted off to Bali for a little vacation … but he brought me home a gift that was presented to me with great pride.

A fluorescent green g-string bikini bottom.

Now I'm not sure what I found the most offensive.

That he thought I was the type of girl that would cavort around topless in a fluorescent green g-string bikini bottom … or that he bought it in a size extra large!!!

Just for the record … I'm not the type of girl that cavorts around topless in a fluorescent green g-string bikini bottom … my skin is much too fair!