Friday, 7 February 2014

An unbelievable event ...

The most unbelievable thing happened to me.

I was at home … french polishing my furniture … when the phone rang.

"Congratulations Madam … you have been carefully selected as the winner of the 'Spend a Day with Mr Butler' competition".

Which was unbelievable … considering I never even entered it.

Gerard Butler was coming to spend the day with me … the very next day!!!

I awoke early the next morning … which is quite unbelievable in itself …  and was delighted to find that I had lost five kilos … and that I was having not a good … but a perfect hair day.

I was beside myself with anticipation … the doorbell rang … which is unbelievable because I've been nagging Hubby to fix it for over three years now … and there he was!  In all his glorious beauty and rugged hunkiness.

Our eyes met … the world stood perfectly still … and in that moment … Gerard Butler fell madly, deeply and eternally in love with me.  Unbelievable hey!

He threw himself at my feet … and begged me to make him the happiest man on this earth by returning with him to Hollywood … or London … or Scotland … or wherever … where we would live in idyllic bliss for the rest of out lives.

I was about to jump into his Lamborghini … when a deeply buried memory surfaced in my brain.

I was forced to recall the existence of my husband and children.

So I gently informed Gerry that I was needed here at home … that I really couldn't leave these men alone … because who would wash their underpants then?

Gerry sobbed brokenly … his heart an aching chasm of crushed dreams.

Then I took his hands in mine … running one hand absently up his strong muscular arm.

"There is one thing you could do for me," I murmured softly.

"For you … My Love … I will do anything"

I leaned forward and whispered my special request into his perfect ear.

And then the alarm went off!


  1. You have made my Friday! really! I even appreciate the vastness of his leaf and his come hither pose - Jo, you are flaming brilliant and blooming hilarious!! x x x

  2. Was he wearing that leaf? Or did you just paint it on for us?

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  4. Bahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!! I have tears running down my cheeks and TOF is wondering what the hell I am laughing at. Poor Gerry, how will he console himself??? Dam that Alarm to hell I say!!

    1. I just seem to have this effect on men … in my dreams ;0)

  5. Oh no - I completely BELIEVED you... Only a dream, then, bummer! Now all you have to do is paint your husband's head on that bod, and job's a good 'un. xxx

  6. big hands.. big feet...big leaf?. x

  7. nice leaf!! damn alarm! Damn husband and kids! x