I was browsing through some of the photos I have on iPhoto....enjoying the fact that I still could...after the near miss of last week......and I came across this one......
By my best estimate I would say I was around 3 or 4 when it was taken.
I often look into the faces of my children....and I wonder what the future holds for them. I wonder what happiness and sadness lies ahead in their lives.....what successes and failures....what love and losses.....and a very big part of me wants to protect them from all the bad things. Of course I can't do that...and it wouldn't be right for me to try anyway. It's their life to live...their mistakes to make....their joy and their grief.....and what would life be about if we didn't experience all these....experiences?
But then I got to looking into my own face....I now know what at least part of the future holds for this little girl....what would I tell her....if I could?
Would I warn her of the losses? Parents....friends....family members.
Would I warn her of the heartbreaks? Or do the heartbreaks have to be experienced?
Would I tell her don't worry so much...don't be so shy....have some self confidence....or do these things have to be learnt?
Would I tell her to live her life as she wants too....not as she's told to? Or do you have to walk certain paths to appreciate new ones?
I look into that face....and I feel sad....sad for all the things that I know are hurtling towards her...sooner than she could ever have guessed.....things she will have to live through....survive....adjust to....new normals to be created....but I also feel joy....for all the good things that I know will come her way.
Oh and I'd tell her last weeks lotto numbers and that she should invest in a little company with an Apple logo too.