An Ode to our Optical Odyssey ...

My son … he loves cricket … so he tried out for the team.

It's a sport that he holds ... in the highest esteem.

It wasn't too long ... before he was heard to exclaim,

"I made it … I'm in ... I must prepare for the game."

The preparations were not ... to go and get fit,

What he meant was it's time  … to buy the priciest kit.

Then once he was batted and padded … boxed and the like,

You would think he was ready … but NO … there was one final strike.

"But Mum" … he cajoled … "I want to make a big score",

"And that will be hard  … when my eyesight is poor."

"What I need are some lenses … the contacty type,"

"If I have some real soon … then I won't need to gripe."

So he made an appointment … you can do that online,

And before I could blink … he had a day and a time.

I could feel my poor purse ... getting lighter and lighter,

But he couldn't care less … the self centred blighter.

Then I warned him  … quite gently … that despite his confident air,

That contacts were tricky … and must be handled with care.

He pooh poohed my concerns … "Mum it'll all be alright"

"I'll pop them in for the game and improve my eyesight."

"I only will wear them ... for sport …  you will see,"

"I can handle these things … it will be easy for me."

So we arrived ... at the Optical Shop … right on cue,

And listened intently ... to the lady who knew.

How to put in those contacts … and how to take them back out,

How to wash them … and store them … she left us no doubt.

Then it was time … to make the transfer,

And that's when the phenomenon ... began to occur.

He held that small disc ... and he looked at his eye.

Then he blindly pushed on … and gave it a try.

At that point … he paused … he was suddenly clammy,

His heart it was racing … a big double whammy.

His face it went pale … with a grayish, green tinge,

Sweat formed on his brow … and he started to cringe.

He put down the contact … and made a quick plea,

"I really must sit … I'm weak at the knee."

"I'm feeling all dizzy … my innards are churning."

It was very dramatic … and somewhat concerning.

And so we discovered … despite his confident air,

That touching his eyeball … is something he just cannot bear.

Now the hard lesson to learn ... was don't be such a "know-all"

But as a typical teenager … he probably learnt nothing at all.

By Me