Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Hidden talents ...

Okay … before I get started … let me just get one thing out of the way.

I apologise wholeheartedly … in advance … for the post I am about to write.  I'm already ashamed.

It's subject matter will leave those of us with a genteel disposition… which isn't me clearly … horrified and appalled.  If you are eating … you may wish to postpone either the reading … or the eating.

This post is about shit … literally.

While I say it's about shit … it's really about a strange phenomenon I experienced … which was somewhat inspired by shit.

Phenomenon … which is much different to phenomenal … certainly in this case.

Let me set the scene.

I was in bed this morning … fast asleep … dreaming.

My dream was meandering on … as dreams are wont to do … and I don't remember all that much of it.

But there is one part which I will never forget.

In the dream … Buster was racing along … when suddenly he lay down and shat himself … on the carpet.

At this precise and exact moment I awoke suddenly … and realised I could hear Buster scratching at the door to be let out of Master 16's bedroom … where he sleeps … the dog … as well as Master 16.

As an earthquake of over 10 on the Richter scale probably wouldn't wake Master 16, I decided I would get up and let the dog out.

On opening the door … low and behold … there was dog shit … on the carpet.

See … now we get to the bit about the phenomenon … how did I know??

Have I developed psychic abilities?  Could my sub-conscious ears hear something that my conscious ears never could? Am I on some sort of ESP wavelength with the dog?

So many questions … so few answers.

Anyhoo … I just had to share … in case this is the beginning of my new career as a world renowned psychic.  If ever I'm asked how I first discovered my amazing talent … I'll be able to refer them to this blog post.

Anyone got any tea leaves they'd like me to read?



18 comments:

  1. Super! Could you pm me next weeks' winning Lotto numbers asap?!

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    1. I'll get working on that ASAP … as long as I get a 95% share ;0)
      xx

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  2. Well, now I will refer to you when I want the latest (pooper) scoop!

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  3. Ha-ha! you have a unique skill in 'poop awareness', very useful stuff, I am gifted with 'fur-ball onset' - we should collaborate!!! x x x

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    1. We could make millions … I'm sure someone , somewhere must need our skills ;0)
      xx

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  4. oh now that's a talent!!!! actually that's quite freaky...more freaky than useful! personally i am just relieved you didn't go down the path i initially thought you were taking....sharing with us an 'i shit the bed' story! i carried on eating as i read....i am a warning ignoring rebel.....that's nearly as good a being a literal shit psychic!

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    1. You rebel you … and agreed, it's definitely more freaky than useful :0)
      xx

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  5. A shitty little story!! I am not one to poo poo a good yarn. Talent or gift?? What will your psychic name be?? Will you wear flowing gowns, a turban and work from a tent? I shall send you my tea leaves to read soon.

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  6. what an awesome story! you have so many talents, I am not surprised by your ESP abilities as well. Gosh I love your blog! xo

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  7. A new career definitely beckons... and not merely as a pooper scooper! It's a gift! xxxx

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    1. I wonder where you apply for those sorts of jobs ;0)
      xx

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  8. madam shitfabrains....coming to an RSL club near you. poker of poo....reader of skiddies....she will amaze and possibly appall....tickets available from yourshittingme.com.org.......be quick....or grab a newspaper and take your time!.

    oh girlfriend you sure know how to make my day!! x

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    Replies
    1. LOLOLOL … and your comments make mine :0)
      xx

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