Okay … before I get started … let me just get one thing out of the way.
I apologise wholeheartedly … in advance … for the post I am about to write. I'm already ashamed.
It's subject matter will leave those of us with a genteel disposition… which isn't me clearly … horrified and appalled. If you are eating … you may wish to postpone either the reading … or the eating.
This post is about shit … literally.
While I say it's about shit … it's really about a strange phenomenon I experienced … which was somewhat inspired by shit.
Phenomenon … which is much different to phenomenal … certainly in this case.
Let me set the scene.
I was in bed this morning … fast asleep … dreaming.
My dream was meandering on … as dreams are wont to do … and I don't remember all that much of it.
But there is one part which I will never forget.
In the dream … Buster was racing along … when suddenly he lay down and shat himself … on the carpet.
At this precise and exact moment I awoke suddenly … and realised I could hear Buster scratching at the door to be let out of Master 16's bedroom … where he sleeps … the dog … as well as Master 16.
As an earthquake of over 10 on the Richter scale probably wouldn't wake Master 16, I decided I would get up and let the dog out.
On opening the door … low and behold … there was dog shit … on the carpet.
See … now we get to the bit about the phenomenon … how did I know??
Have I developed psychic abilities? Could my sub-conscious ears hear something that my conscious ears never could? Am I on some sort of ESP wavelength with the dog?
So many questions … so few answers.
Anyhoo … I just had to share … in case this is the beginning of my new career as a world renowned psychic. If ever I'm asked how I first discovered my amazing talent … I'll be able to refer them to this blog post.
Anyone got any tea leaves they'd like me to read?