Thursday 6 February 2014

Just call me Pablo Picasso ...

As Mr Pumpy Fix It departed on Monday … his pockets bulging with my cash … he kindly gave me some final advice … for free.

"I've stirred up the silt a bit … so best not do any washing for a couple of days".

I immediately took this on board … and interpreted it to mean I shouldn't do any sweeping … or mopping … or indeed any activity that could even vaguely  be regarded as a domestic task.

So I got out my paints … and whipped this up instead.


Based loosely on this shot … which I took at Whitehaven Beach, Queensland … a few years back.


Now if I could just find some sucker lucky individual to pay me $800 for it, the day wouldn't be a total loss after all.

Then because I'm almost certain that the silt still hasn't settled … and it's bound to be floating dangerously within the water tank … I decided to get artistic again yesterday.

I mean I'm positively prolific at the moment … and I'm seriously considering setting myself up in an artist grotto/ghetto (wasn't sure which … both seem pretty appropriate) … and becoming a recluse.
Specially if I can find myself a wealthy patron and a muse … actually this guy will do for both … *swoon*.


Anyhoo … because I'm clearly a masochist … I decided to have ANOTHER attempt at a portrait.

But I was smarter this time … I decided to use a model that is highly unlikely to give me any cheek over the end result.

Someone who is well accustomed to having their portrait painted … someone who has had more bad portraits painted than I've had hot dinners … this is based on my assumptive powers and not any actual facts … who else but The Queen.


Based loosely on this shot … which I nicked borrowed off the internet.


So I gave it a go … and failed pretty spectacularly.

There's something entirely wrong with her … and I've managed to make her less peaches and cream … and more final stages cirrhosis of the liver.

But hey  … I had a bit of fun.

Who should I butcher next?  Any suggestions?

And if you should suggest Gerard Butler … please inform him it will be a "Life Drawing" and to arrive  suitably unclothed … nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

Her Majesty is unamused.



17 comments:

  1. I am so glad you didn't paint the Queen in the nude. You are such a good artist. And I'm pretty certain that Picasso NEVER did housework.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No … probably not … I'll take my cue from him ;0)
      xx

      Delete
  2. Well I am not showing you any of my paintings any more after seeing these! ;-) Sounds like you took some very good advice to me. It would have been quite dangerous to do anything remotely like housework in fear of stirring up any silt and yes I would sit back and wait for the dollars to roll in....seriously if the paintings sell in our local garden centre art display, then your works are definitely worth it...Hey even mine are!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always like other people's paintings WAY more than I like my own. In fact by the time I've stared at it long enough to finish painting it I usually despise it. We're funny creatures … us humans ;0)
      xx

      Delete
  3. I think you made The Queen look softer, less severe and more like a regular person, which I really like!, you are good! and I would avoid the cleaning for a little longer, Mr Pumpy fix-it probably didn't really clarify a 'couple of days', he could of meant 'a few', who knows! best err on the side of caution - and if Gerard pops over for his nude/life drawing *faint* - sorry, my brain is no longer working x x x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come to think of it … he may have said a couple of weeks … or was that months ;0)
      My brain is no longer working either ;0)
      xx

      Delete
  4. You are such a great artist, I'd kill to be on that beach right now.
    Ouch, sorry to hear about your plumbing! xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I wouldn't have to worry about pumps if I was on that beach … meet you there ;0)
      xx

      Delete
  5. I think you didn't get all the diamonds on her hat quite sparkly enough . . . :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe they're cubic zirconias … I heard she was down to her last few millions ;0)
      xx

      Delete
  6. Queenie's looking great, Jo - you're good at this, and I love your beach painting.
    Ahhh, a wealthy patron. I need one of those. Though what exactly they would be patronising/paying me to do, I'm not sure... Not housework, that's for sure.
    Sorry, Gerard can't make your Life Class, he's booked in at mine to help out in the garden. Apparently he's always wanted to play Mellors. xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just send him my way when you're finished with him ;0)
      xx

      Delete
  7. The old queenie looks really good, I am sure she would be more than happy to hang it in one of her massive castles. I would be more than happy to accompany Mr Butler to your home and just watch your paint him, or we could both just watch him, but no drooling, he may be less than impressed if we drool. So please you have taken the free advise on board and may you continue to be cautious about the domestic duties. You should never rush into such chores. Back to the art work sweetheart, an artist cannot be interrupted by chores.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's right … artistic processes have no room for domestic duties ;0)
      xx

      Delete
  8. queenie looks fab, a bit of a 'my corgi is up my skirt' expression is always a skill to capture! no housework and art instead...yay welcome to my world! x

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh I even manage to dislike my stick figures if I look at them long enough ;0)
    xx

    ReplyDelete